Oh, sure, you can argue that there are physically larger symbols that exude masculinity, such as obelisks, pyramids, and bulging bank accounts, and even sensually feminine symbols such as sailing yachts, or maglev trains.

But the fact remains that the automobile is THE seat of sexual power, the focus of achievement, the ultimate status symbol that reflects materialistic avarice. The proper car can mark its owner as a mover and shaker, a force with which to be reckoned, or a bon vivant, gay, free thinker. A vehicle reflects its owner’s tastes, and hygiene, and even personal habits in how it is driven.

For instance, think Red Corvette, and you almost automatically associate it with a bleached blonde divorcee, or some carefree young thing, racing down the fast lanes of life, sticking close to the powdered white line of excitement, and ready to experience all that is offered to her.

Think of the Mercedes sedan, sleek and black, its fluid puissance the mark of the successful executive, a man that exudes power, and control, both in and out of the bedroom.

It is not for nothing that these auto-erotic icons are driven past our eyes time and again on the big and small screens. We are made constantly aware of the difference in class and taste as the media shows us sports cars, SUVs, minivans, and trucks, each marketed to a specific demographic segment, and each with its own underlined promise of the kind of person owns each one.

A typical scenario would show a cowboy and his pickup truck. This rugged, honest, hard working man, pulls into the long dirt drive of his ranch, coming finally home to a nicely appointed farmhouse, with a paver stone driveway, where his beautiful wife has just returned from the antique shop she runs, her Volvo SUV’s utilitarian storage area packed with new stock for her quaint shop.

The kids pull up on their quadrunner ATV’s all smiling and laughing and having fun. It’s the archetypical perfect family, dad a hard working individualist, who still knows how to let his woman lead her own life. The kids are polished and shiny, underneath all that mud and cow poop. Perfect smiles, perfect people, leading stimulating, fulfilling lives.

And all of it is reflected not by the farm, and the rustic home, but by the vehicles with which they race to and fro, conducting lives far more interesting than yours or mine.

With such powerful capacities for invoking primordial feelings of pride, and lust, and even envy, the automobile stands alone as the Ultimate Sex Toy.

Even a junker has a personality, one that may indicate a devil-may-care attitude about its driver. Many a woman has lost her virginity in the back seat of vehicles that were barely road-worthy, but that provided a refuge of privacy for the immediate biological needs that screamed to be sated.

My own personal experiences with the car are many, but my favorite times did not necessarily focus on participating in sex while in the vehicle, but also in the journey to many places that would have been literally unreachable mere decades ago, if not for the development of the Interstate Highway system.

There is also the added benefit that the proper car, with appropriate window tint, provides a literal hotel room on wheels, or at least a comfortable couch.

Having sex in a car parked at a mall or drug store, or even a high end restaurant, can be especially titillating because of the naughtiness factor, the risk of discovery, and the voyeuristic shared experience of seeing people only inches away, who don’t know you are in the midst of orgasm.

Of course, a supply of wipes or towels comes in handy for protecting or removing fluids, but, if the material is a fine leather or water-resistant vinyl, your lover’s tongue can be pressed into service to act as a temporary measure for cleaning your upholstery of those funky juices.

The added luxury of accessory power can lead to some spirited adventures, both solo and with a partner.

While there must be some statistics somewhere on the Internet detailing this, I was unable to locate just exactly how many women drive while under the influence of a C-Spot vibrator. One can imagine that many women, before the advent of such wonderful technology, might have self-pleasured while a passenger, in the back seat “sleeping”, or even with their lovers. One only knows how many accidents this behavior caused, especially among long-haul truckers, who came unknowingly upon this spectacle.

I am reminded of a story related to me by one such individual, whose veracity I do not doubt, he being much larger and burlier than I, that I met at a turnpike stop one sunny afternoon about twenty years ago.

After coming through a rather dull and barren area of road that stretched some sixty or seventy miles, we were entering the restroom, but I think he needed to relieve a different burden than I that day.

Grinning ear to ear, this amiable dude related how he had been passed by, and then followed, a man and two women in a convertible.

As they passed, it was obvious that the women were totally naked, and the man was being fellated by one, while the other woman was eating the “kitty” of the fellatrix, who was bowed over the front seat.

Not believing his eyes, he sped up, and nearly rammed their vehicle.

When they discovered they had company, the man politely pulled over and offered my new found friend his choice of the women, whereupon the four of them commenced an orgy in the sleeper compartment of his semi-tractor rig.

Happily spent, the four of them parted ways, leaving my fellow traveler wondering at the simple marvel of it all.

I, of course, believed every word of it, since I had seen similar events on this stretch of highway before.

One day, while in Orlando , a man pulled up beside me in a white convertible Mustang, with an Anna Nicole look-alike tugging on his penis. I had a perfect view from the seat of my large black SUV, and he just shrugged while she went down on him. This was during rush hour on I-Drive, near Sand Lake , and when the light changed, the couple pulled into the parking lot of one of the many inns located along the strip there. Whereupon one assumes they went into their room to prolong the festivities.

Yes, the auto is the ultimate sex toy for a reason.

It can become a love seat, bed, hotel room, or magic carpet, transporting you and your paramours to new heights of ecstasy, or even intercourse.

The newest cars come decked out with things that were once the province of the houses of the rich, with the refrigerated or heated space for refreshments, snacks, and toys.

Sensual audio video systems can provide stirring music, rousing anthems, and lesbian porn on demand.

With the proper equipment, one can beam their adventures across the internet, email choice photos to their friends, or even perform live for money!

And anyone can get all of this opportunity, all this sensual headiness, all this raw lust, available for zero down, low interest rate financing, and small, affordable monthly payments (to buyers with approved credit only).

But, for the rest of us, the simple joy of a lazy, sunny blowjob on a country road on a lazy, sunny Sunday afternoon provides everything we need to crown the car king of the road.

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Your green home is super-insulated, and made from recycled logs, and is a warm and comfortable refuge against the chill night.

The spirits and passion are rising, and you all remove your outer hemp clothing to change into something more comfortable. One of the beautiful women giggles as she reveals her edible panties.

You and your two female companions are having a wonderfully romantic night, eating healthy natural food you have grown in your own garden, drinking organic wine and beer, and lighting the intimate setting with fluorescent lights that are powered by the batteries, which your PV array had been charging all of this beautiful, sunny day.

The other beautiful woman suggests that you all sit in the recycled redwood hot tub for a while, and enjoy the natural beauty of the night sky. The three of you strip naked, and, taking another bottle of organic wine, enter the hot water, naturally warmed by the light of the sun using your solar water heater.

Joe Sample’s music is being played in the background, and piped into your ears using power that was collected with no harmful emissions.

The music, warm friends, and hot water combine with the wine for a heady experience. Their perky breasts jutting coyly, your women friends playfully chat and fondle you and each other. Your erection is below the water, but a friendly warm hand grabs it.

You kiss the mouth of each woman, and they kiss each other. One reaches for the waterproof rabbit vibrator you bought her as a gift, and it begins buzzing, powered by the solar-charged recyclable batteries inside it.

She guides it into the V-spot of the other woman, who begins to perform oral sex on you, underwater.

This looks to be the beginning of another wonderful night in paradise, and your mind is even further eased by the thought that your ecological footprint is so small.

You lean back to a rising “O”, and remember to gently toss the empty wine bottle into the bamboo thread towels. It will make another interesting lamp for your collection, or one you can give as a gift, once you convert it to burn vegetable oil.

You close your eyes, enjoying the sweet, juicy taste of the one woman’s mound of pleasure, and catching glimmers of the soy candles lighting the deck.

She is still working her friend with the rabbit, and you watch the unfolding scene, with passionate kissing of breasts, nipple pinches, and of course the smooth, rhythmic sucking of your penis.

As all of your orgasms hit in rapid succession, you know the best is yet to come!

You all move to the bedroom, lit sensuously by vegetable oil lamps, and aromatic soy candles. You fall onto the natural cotton sheets, and move the recycled plastic bottle filled pillows around into comfortable positions.

More toys are brought out, as well as naturally scented water-based lubricants.

You and the women spent the next several hours exploring the limits of intimate pleasure with each other, and then lie, spent and sated, on your environmentally safe Keetsa mattress.

As the sounds and tastes of the night’s fiery passions subside, you snuggle with your women friends, gently kissing them off to sleep.

Tomorrow promises to be another fantastic day!

Since the dawn of fire, humans have been pretty much cluttering up the planetary living rooms, bedrooms, and playrooms of earth, pooping and peeing in the swimming pools of lakes and oceans of the lovely Gaia*, and in general just making giant messes.

Well, it looks as thought the 150,000 years or so we’ve been around as a species may be catching up to us in the form of Global Warming.

While we strive to use less fossil fuels, fidget with the thermostats, and wear animal friendly shoes, eat more veggies, and use organic deodorants and toothpaste, we certainly don’t want to neglect the more intimate and fun side of life here at Onjenoo.

Zoey again kindly asked me for my perspective on all things sexy, and this time she wanted to be sure that we were not harming any innocent vegetables, or committing lewd and lascivious acts with under-aged groceries.

So, in the spirit of the recently celebrated Earth Day, a belated Happy Birthday, Gaia!*

The most obvious way to save the planet is to reduce the dependence on fossil fuel generated power. Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun up above is shining down on all of us, and there has been a huge surge of interest in harvesting that power for a very long time.

One of the offshoots of the space program has been the development and refinement of solar cells, or photo voltaic cells. PV cells power satellites, those blinking road signs that annoy you during highway construction snarls, and also boats and remotely located houses. They also power the ubiquitous solar calculator and digital wristwatch. And, they can also be used to charge batteries.

And so, this is where WE will be demonstrating our loyalty to all things ecological by using a solar battery charger to charge our batteries, and then using those batteries in our favorite toys to recharge OUR batteries while simultaneously discharging our libidos.

Another area that we can easily adapt to greener ways is the use of scented candles in setting the mood for our sexual rendezvous. Romance is often enhanced by the use of visuals, and candles are perfect for igniting that smoldering fire of passion in ourselves and our partners.

But, normal paraffin candles are petroleum by-product based, and not so earth-friendly.

What’s a horny, romantic, ecologically conscious person to do?

Well, that is where soy candles and vegetable oil lamps come into the picture. You can even make your own vegetable oil lamps from old wine bottles if you REALLY want to brag about reusability!

Here’s a link to making one from a beer bottle:

http://www.instructables.com/id/Glass-Bottle-Oil-Lamp/

In the area of sex toys, there are several alternatives to molded plastic devices. Glass is a perfect substitute for plastic, and there are many beautiful glass dildos to be had.

Pyrex™ is one of the best and safest materials made for this use, and is biologically sterile, to boot, and easily cleaned. Plus, these dildos can be cooled or warmed. Follow the manufacturer’s instructions to avoid damaging either them or yourself!

Recharging your batteries using a solar charger is both eco-friendly and economical as well.

Of course, there are always the rechargeable vibrators and solar-powered vibrators. That’s right. I said solar powered. Yes, the folks at California Exotic bring frequent campers and granola-munching hippies a solar rechargeable vibrator called the Matrix Vibe. Leave it for five hours in the sun (or under a lamp), and it’s rarin’ to go.

Some sex toys contain harmful additives or chemicals that are used in their manufacture, such as phthalates. By avoiding these, you are helping to save the planet, since these chemicals linger long after the joy they provide has evaporated. Plus, you are making sure you stay healthy, so you can play longer.

For tree huggers, it can be hard to get through the day without guilty, pre-occupied micro-decisions. You might regretfully take a cab rather than the bus, or grab Styrofoam take-away instead of just sitting down and eating from a plate. In the bedroom, it can be an accomplishment to wade through all of the cultural pollutants and just enjoy ambivalence-free pleasures. So, once you’ve happily integrated one into your life, who wants to worry about a carcinogenic dildo? Or non-biodegradable paddles whose ultimate punishment will mean an eternity of landfill stink? Not sexy.

Adopting a ‘green’ lifestyle is not very difficult, if you put a little thought into it. Now, you have yet another way to cut down on the consumption of the Earth’s bounties, and you can have lots of sexual fun at the same time!

Mr. Cocky

*(Mr. Cocky was pretty busy celebrating with a different kind of spirits, and enjoying the fruits of the delicate female flower with some spirited cunnilingus, so he was somewhat preoccupied and did not notice the formal rites of Earth Day until VERY late in the evening. Oh, well. At least he was not wasting fossil fuels driving around his huge black SUV in a needless pursuit for useless and pointless materialistic ‘stuff’. This is not to say there is necessarily anything wrong with that. People need to eat, after all, and if buying stuff stimulates the flaccid job market, Mr. Cocky is very much in favor of that.)

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As you might guess, this is a bit touchy of a subject.

Firstly, let’s dispel the idea that putting something in one’s rectum is a ‘gay’ thing to do.

One supposes that gay men do this all the time, and given the options of how to give each other pleasure, it certainly is just sitting there. But, having known gay men and women, and bisexual men and women, and heterosexual men and women, if we are honest, we all were designed in the same way, with the major orifices of entry and exit the same. We all have a mouth, nostrils, ear holes, and assholes. We all have urethras.

Men have penises, women vaginas, and hermaphrodites get both, but viva la difference, as they say.

Married heterosexual women have been getting it in the ass for as long as recorded history, and so have men since at least the Trojan War and sacking of Rome, if classic literature and historical tomes are to be believed. When put into that context, it is not only natural, but one could argue it is inevitable, to have something go in through the out door at least a time or two in one’s life.

Medically, rectal thermometers and enemas are routinely used on infants to elders, so we have precedents there as well as to whether or not this is a natural act.

No, the real rub comes from the morality police, and socialization or stigmatization of certain groups that label things as perverse or immoral. I would argue that these value judgements are not actually based on the observed behavior or consequences of the act, but more on what people think OUGHT to happen to someone who does these things. The issue is clouded by some critics stringent misinterpretation of ‘holy writings’, or even personal vendettas against a class or type of person. So, in essence, the act is being judged not on its capacity for pleasure for the individual, but on some mythic value system that is at best, arbitrary, or at worst, mandated by legislative edict. In either case, people ignore the law or religious dogma constantly, and neither lightning strikes them dead, nor the bastions of brownshirts knock down the doors to their boudoirs, so one might put one’s mind at rest about these trivial matters.

Now then, since women have been quite accomodating in this regard, both allowing it from their male lovers, and participating in it with their female ones as well, we might ask Zoey her perspective about it. Since I already have, I can paraphrase her answer: “Well, it hurts if it isn’t done properly.”

Notice that she didn’t say “NO WAY!” or “The anus is an exit not an entrance” or any of those quaint rejections of the concept. Her concern is one of feeling pain. And it is well founded, unfortunately. We have been conditioned in the United States to view anal sex as the equivalent of rape, from prison films to slasher movies. And, truth be told, if one is not very aware of what one is doing, you can tear a new one, or at least it feels that way.

So, to alleviate this concern, we look to modern science for the concept of lubricity. Now, there’s plenty written about which lubes to use, so I am not going there. However, let me state that butter, chocolate, and food stuffs can harbor or promote bacterial growth if one does not use enemas liberally to clean up. And, Vaseline, grease, or other hydrocarbon by-products are literally a pain in the ass. So, avoid them.

KY, Lubriderm, or baby oil are quite well suited to the task, if we are using a male member, finger, fist, or other biological body part, but they may affect toys and condoms.

I will leave it to Zoey to find the BEST lubricant to use and recommend. I will just say that, for most toys, KY is great, and leave it at that.

The next thing to address is the presentation. By this, I mean, just what are we attempting to put in there?

Anal beads, small vibrators, bullets, or even prostate massagers are all designed explicitly to go into the dark, and come back out. This extrication bit is important, so pay attention. In spite of how good it feels going in, and being in there, eventually play time will be over and you want your toys back. And, having to engage the ASSistance of the Emergency Room staff will make you the BUTT of jokes and knowing looks for a long time to come, so be sure you can retrieve your friends unASSisted.

Once, you have decided to cross over into the forbidden territory, get comfortable, and relax. Take your time! Use towels underneath your body to catch anything messy, from excess lube to excess, well anything else.

About poop - you know, everyone poops. It is a fact of life. It has some pretty weird shapes, smells, consistency, and other attributes. A good enema will clean most of it out, but even then, so will a good BM and a shower. Especially if the shower head is of the adjustable type, on a hose that can be directed at intimate areas.

Cleanliness is important, after all!

So, lubricate a finger, and GENTLY begin to rub and insert it into the rectum. If there is pain, stop. This should never hurt. You might need something smaller, or to relax some more, or just abandon it for now. Don’t rush it!

Once you can get a finger in to the knuckle, you can try a small anal probe, or beads.

Beads are incredible, because one or two whets your appetite, and they come out easily, and build confidence. Also, they don’t hurt, they are smooth, and they have a string for easy retrieval.

And, they are great for partner play.

Once you are able to take small objects, you can steadily increase the size, over time. Remember, you are not out to set a record here, just explore what feels good to your body.

I have had an average sized dildo, beads, bullet vibrators and the occasional finger all comfortably inserted while having plain vanilla missionary position sexual intercourse. It certainly added to the experience, for me, and that usually translated to a better experience for my lover as well.

Vibrators also have the added advantage of creating stimulation in the vaginal and clitoral areas of your partner.

Anal sex with a lover while you have a bullet in your bum is also a very intense and intimate shared moment.

Something that I am considering is having my lover use a strap-on dildo to see what that feels like. Since she is also into having a third, it is possible I might be pitching AND catching at the same time. Now THERE is a mind-picture!

In conclusion, there is nothing any more dirty or unnatural about anal sex than other forms for recreational play. Obviously, humans do not procreate in this manner, unless a cream-pie baby is accidentally made by not using proper contraception, but my research into this is inconclusive.

At this juncture, it is safe to say that anal play is safe, can be controlled for hygienic reasons, and adds a level of intimacy unmatched by other forms of sex. There is every reason to participate in it, but using reasonable caution and care will go a long way in ASSuring that you will both want to get caught from behind, again and again.

Mr. Cocky

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We are going to delve in deep (pun intended) into what a G-spot orgasm is, where to find it and how to achieve it.

Where is the G-spot and what does the ‘G’ stand for? Is it for ‘Great’’?
Yes, the ‘G’ could stand for great. But it is named after the German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg who first hypothesized its existence in 1950.

That lucky bastard!

The G -spot is a zone about two or three inches inside the vagina on the front wall, closest to the clitoris or pubic bone. Just use your fingers to feel for an area that resembles the surface of a spongy walnut. Fingers crooked in a “come hither” shape are best angled to find the G-spot.

A “pulling” rather than a “poking” motion is usually more arousing. If a woman is really turned on, that the G-spot is swollen, and she bears down hard, you may be able to see the G-spot peeking out from the vaginal opening.

With the right technique and a bit of practice it can yield lots and lots of pleasure for women including orgasm, multiple orgasms and female ejaculation.

Where exactly is the G spot? It’s the red spot in the diagram below:

Female reproductive system diagram showing vagina and location of G spot (marked red), about 1/3 of the way inside the vagina, on the wall closest to the C-spot.

Here’s a great way to practice with your partner on achieving a G-spot ‘O’ through finger stimulation.

• Make sure your partner’s nails are clean and trimmed short.
• LOTS and LOTS of foreplay (minimum 30 minutes, preferably an hour)
• Lie on your back and pull your knees up. It also helps to place a pillow or two under your hips.
• Your partner lies between your legs. Ask him/her to gently place his fingers two or three inches inside your vagina.
• He/She then makes a “come hither” motion with his fingers.

The exact motion is to insert your finger pointing away from YOUR body, and then pretend that you are scratching inside the vagina, on the G-spot, with the index finger, curling it toward you. Repeat this and pay attention to your lover’s reaction.

• His/Her fingers are now on your G-spot. He/She massages back and forth with his/her fingers, gently at first, then harder, eventually using lots of pressure.
• Voila! With luck you’ll reach your first G-spot orgasm within 3 to 5 minutes of hard massaging. It has to be hard - the C-spot needs a light touch, but the G spot needs much heavier pressure. Remember, to press firmly and a “pulling” rather than a “poking” motion is more arousing.

The important things are foreplay, bringing your knees up to your chest, and hard pressure on your G-spot. Remember, to press firmly and a “pulling” rather than a “poking” motion is more arousing.

Sometimes pressing down hard on the vulva with the other hand at the same time increases the ‘full bladder’ sensation. The vulva is just below the tummy.

Foreplay builds the sexual excitement and fills your vaginal and C-spot areas with blood - the equivalent of a man getting an erection. Lots of foreplay makes any sexual touch much more pleasurable. If you attempt a G-spot massage with no foreplay it won’t work!

I think I have to Pee!
The most common hurdle to reaching a G-spot orgasm is the ‘pee feeling’. Sometimes during G-spot massage you’ll get this feeling and you might have to go ‘tinkle’.

Here are some tips to get around this. First, go to the bathroom and empty your bladder. When you start the G-spot massage, you might get the pee feeling. But no urine will come out because you’ve just emptied your bladder, and the tube leading from the bladder (the urethra) is blocked off during orgasm. The only way urine will come out is if you have very weak pelvic floor muscles, which is unlikely for most women.

What’s happening is the build up to a female ejaculation. This is a clear or white substance similar to male semen that may shoot out from your urethral opening during orgasm. The ejaculation doesn’t come from the bladder. It comes from the paraurethral glands, a collection of small glands parallel to or surrounding the urethra.
Female ejaculation is usually very, very pleasurable, but you may ejaculate a few drops or an entire gush, so put a towel or two down underneath you.

The way to get over the ‘pee feeling’ barrier is to just let go. The reason you are experiencing this is because the paraurethral glands are beginning to fill the urethra with ejaculate. The way to get over it is to actually let your body go and release that ‘pee’ feeling. Rest assured, that no pee will come out if you have emptied your bladder as suggested earlier! Just let the tension build. If you can get over the pee feeling, there’s a good chance you’ll reach orgasm from a G- spot massage, and possibly multiple orgasm.

Female ejaculation doesn’t have the smell, taste or look of urine. Don’t give up easily - the more you try the more chance there is you’ll enjoy it.

Hitting that ‘G’ Note
With practice and some luck, a G-spot massage will produce an orgasm. There is a way for your partner to ‘feel’ the orgasm happening - if he/she keeps his/her finger or thumb inside your vagina (he/she should keep massaging your G-spot; anyway), he/she will feel the orgasmic contractions. This will be a light, rhythmical squeezing of the vagina, lasting about 5 to 10 seconds. Of course, there are many other signs accompanying the big ‘O’: moaning, flushing of skin, muscle tension, and so on, but the vaginal contractions are the best way to tell if an orgasm is happening, apart from the woman saying “Oh God. I’m cumming”.

Multiple G-spot Orgasms
If you keep going after the first orgasm, it’s possible to reach a second, third or more. A C-spot orgasm can produce multiple orgasms, but the most common way is through a G-spot massage. If you reach the first orgasm from a G-spot massage, ask your partner to keep going until he/she feels the orgasmic contractions finish. It should last about 5 to 10 seconds. After the orgasm is over you might want to ask him/her to stop for about 20 seconds. Many women find stimulation at this point uncomfortable. He/she can start again with hard a G-spot massaging after this point. If you keep going like this, you may reach a second, third or fourth orgasm. Make sure to use the 20-second pause after each one, but only after the orgasmic contractions are over - don’t stop during the orgasm! Again remember to press hard on the G-spot.

Talking During Foreplay
There are a lot of things you can do to prepare yourself for a G-spot orgasm. One was is through communication during foreplay. Be sure to talk about feelings, pleasures, actions, and describe the orgasm that you want to achieve. Use your imagination! It’s dirty talk with visualization.

If you are still having trouble getting pleasure from G-spot massage and have tried everything above, I suggest C-spot stimulation. Though G-spot play is generally considered more likely to produce multiple orgasms and female ejaculation, C-spot play works for a higher percentage of women. A C-spot orgasm still yields lots and lots and lots of pleasure for women. Heck, why not play with your G-spot and C-spot together - with your partner’s thumb on your G spot, he/she can use the fingers from the same hand to stroke your C-spot, or use his/her other hand. Whatever works for you… pleasure is paramount. It’s all about you!

Xoxo,
Zoey

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Well, my good friend Zoey was kind enough to invite me to present the male perspective on the wonderful world of sex toys. I am just buzzing with excitement at the opportunity to spout off about why all these neat items are a must have in any evolved man’s bedroom. Let’s start with a few of the traditional items, and then move on into some places that no man may have gone before.

First, there are two reasons for a man to have access to sexual aids, or toys. The first is for masturbatory exploration, and the second is to enhance the pleasure of his intimate partners. Notice that I did not specify a gender preference here. That was because today’s man may indeed be hetero, homo, or bisexual. And, with that in mind, let’s go a hunting.

There are several products designed for masturbation. These can be as simple as the jelly sleeve, and as complicated as using electricity and urethral sounds for advanced play. There are prostate massagers, ball stretchers, penis pumps, replica vaginas, mouths, anus molds, regular dildos, erotic lotions, and much much more. All of these are designed to perform different functions for increased pleasure. Prostate massagers are the analog to the G-spot massagers used by women. Ball stretchers can extend the scrotal sac and apply a unique pressure that works in direct opposition to stroking the penis. Orgasms are intensified, and the feeling of one’s balls emptying while stretched tight is something that must be felt to be believed.

From personal experience, there is nothing quite like having your woman use her hands and a jelly sleeve during fellatio. The sensations of sucking and the movement of the sleeve along your penis as she squeezes your shaft and scrotum are literally mind-blowing. Some lubricants can be used, but they should be water soluble and tasteless. The sleeve can also stay in place for anal or vaginal penetration, and adds some girth to an erect penis. However, it creates differing sensations than non-enhanced intercourse, so one should experiment to see what positions are most comfortable and worthwhile to both parties.

Although I have no personal experience with this next technique, I have seen two men using jelly sleeves on each other. They can suck and massage their respective penises and give each other a different kind of orgasm, one that is both sensual and longer than a normal orgasm, since their cocks are both encased in the sleeves, restricting blood flow.

Cock rings are another item that is of enormous benefit to men, especially men who find sometimes that the old soldier is not saluting as he once did. The pressure exerted on the base of the penis traps the blood, and allows for a more rigid erection. Some cock rings have areas for vibrating bullets, and these add a new dimension to the pleasure of both partners, as the vibrations can be passed from the penis to the anus, or vaginal area.

Dildos and dildo harnesses or strap on dildos add another dimension to sex play. While most men are squeamish about having something stuck “UP THERE”, the prostate is an incredible erotic area located, you guessed it, up the poop shoot. Gay men have known forever the joys of prostate massage. When coupled with proper hygiene, there is nothing to fear. And the sensations are very interesting indeed, take it from me.

Straight men may feel they are turning ‘gay’ or ‘queer’ if they start enjoying strap on sex, but many hetero couples find it an immense turn-on, and very liberating for the woman, while building up huge dividends in the intimacy department. There is nothing shameful about self-pleasure, and sharing fantasies with your lover. It’s incredibly erotic, and shows a large level of trust. Plus, it’s hot!

Vibrators and dildos come in many flavors, sizes, vibrating and non-vibrating models, and waterproof as well. When combined with the proper lubes, and perhaps a condom, they can really push the envelope of sexual pleasure for men. The vibrations are also good for sore muscles in other areas, such as the lower back and neck.

A few of the more edgy toys include penis pumps and urethral sounds. Penis pumps can be used to draw a vacuum on the penis and scrotum for increased blood flow. Used with a cock ring, they can provide hours of entertainment.

Urethral sounds are used by doctors to detect obstructions in the urethra, where urine exits the penis. When place inside, and gently moved in and out, while masturbating the shaft, intense sensations are felt. Plenty of lube and sterile conditions are necessary, but the experience is unlike anything you have ever felt, especially during orgasm, when the urethra squeezes on the sound. Incredible!

Some sounds can also be used with electricity, but these are for edge play and need some special equipment to ensure safety.

Sex toys shaped like a woman’s vagina have been around as long as there have been men who could carve fruits or vegetables into satisfactory shapes. The modern version of this is the Fleshlight. It is designed to perfectly simulate oral, anal and vaginal openings. With the proper lube, a veritable cornucopia of new pleasures awaits you in the palm of your hand.

Another area that is being modernized is the ‘inflatable bitch’ or ‘inflatable doll’ type of toy. These are sometimes the butt of jokes, but a well constructed one can be very close to a real woman in feeling, including breasts and hair. The ultimate realization of this concept is the Real Doll. These are crafted of a special silicone material, and are customizable. They can be made for men or women, or both. Neither inexpensive, nor light, these dolls replicate all of the orifices of a real human, and weigh accordingly. They can also be posed, and used in wet conditions. Cleaning and hygeine with these toys is very easy.

Well, this has given you a little taste of some of the myriad and variety of sex toys.

Remember real men not only eat quiche, they get the eggs for it from their woman’s pussy!

Mr. Cocky

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This is also that time where many couples will indulge in some type of fantasy. Many people have deep fantasies, often relating to dominance and submission. You may remember the boy in the corner who purposely forgets his homework simply so the teacher will teach him a lesson, and remember that bossy girl who makes fun of the weak kids. Well both could easily grow into the kinkiest and erotically in-tune adults, and hopefully one day find each other!

Well if this is the case for you, and you’ve found your perfect partner, but are not to sure where to begin, then check out these fun and frisky ideas. Do it! Do it NOW! ☺

It is pretty easy to figure out who will be play the role of dominant one and who will be submissive. Once this is figured out, start small. Maybe one of you has some specific requests, a foot fetish perhaps? For example, someone with a foot fetish would prefer sexy shoes or boots, or someone who likes to be blindfolded may require a selection of soft eye covers.

If you want to try some bondage, then get some sexy restraints. You can get wrist cuffs and ankle cuffs that can be used to hold your partner to a chair, post, the bed etc. You can also try some silky bondage rope. Get a book on different rope tying techniques and then practice tying each other up and having your way with them.

Role-playing is another way to explore your BDSM side. For this, cute and kinky costumes are a must. They could transform you or your lover into the sexy school girl, the naughty nurse, sassy secretary, the horny fireman, or perhaps a sweet, innocent maiden versus a blood thirsty night demon.

The sailor and the prostitute is also a great role-playing fantasy. It is actually one of my favorites.

You can also add cuisine to your fetish. Tie him up, beat him down and then gently feed him his dinner. Or get him to tie you up and tease you with strawberries and whipped cream. You can of course be wicked about it as well! An idea would be to tie her up with her legs spread open, so she cannot bring them together, then tie up her hands behind her back and get out her favorite c-spot toy like her vibrator. Then lube it up, and tease her with some sweet fruit and chocolate. Feed her a piece for a hint of the goodness to come, and the begin taunting her with the vibrator. Using sex toys can be a real sweet treat on its own, but adding these food items just adds some eroticism to it.

So play around with her, poking and probing her with the vibrator, until she can barely handle it. Feed her a piece of fruit occasionally, this will help her mentally link this sweet treat with the sensation between her legs. Also, her not being able to push her legs together will help her reach her orgasm faster, and stronger! Just before she orgasms, give her another piece of fruit and watch her experience an amazing orgasm, one so grand it will tingle all her senses!

This is just one kinky idea you can do to tease each other. Play around and get creative with your bondage gear and sexy fetishes. If he has a foot fetish, or some kind of fetish that can be tickled with sexy clothing or accessories, then why not lay him down and walk all over him with your spikiest heels and your shortest skirt! Get him to give your heel a good sucking, and maybe he should be licking and kissing your delicate ankle… then oops! An innocent little kick in the cheek! But make sure you tie him up first, so he can’t pounce on you!

Anyway you choose to play, enjoy your partner, and enjoy the sexy things you do together. Keep trying new things, and maybe invest in some kinky sex toys or some more interesting bondage equipment, such as a chair with built in restraints or a collar or spreader bar! The most important thing to remember is to have fun and explore each other. Happy Valentines Day.

Xoxo,
‘Zoey’

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When we think of senior citizens having sex we automatically think of negative stereotypes: The dirty old geezer or the horny old lady. The issue, however, is that many seniors come to accept these stereotypes as true, and they then risk losing one of the most important parts of their lives and their health.

Whether or not we want to acknowledge it sex after 60 is a MUST for seniors, and they are doing it more than you know or want to admit.

“The reality is that older people are a lot sexier than younger people think. The common notion is that when you are old you don’t — and maybe shouldn’t — have sex. Our studies have shown that older people are sexier in attitude and performance than they have been credited for, ” said Dr. Walter M. Bortz II, author of “We Love Too Short and Die Too Long”.

And if you didn’t believe what he said, check out what this doctor had to say. “You must realize that in the U.S. the biggest use of prostitutes is on the day Social Security checks come out,” concluded Dr. John Morley, director of the division of geriatric medicine at St. Louis University.

“Whippersnappers” versus “Long in the Tooth”
Sex for seniors is not the same thing as sex for young people. The primary concern with seniors is with recreation rather than the possibility of procreation, which allows more room for expanding one’s sensuality — an important aspect of sex when the natural aging process may result in changes in sexual function.

“Sex is good for the seniors,” said Joani Blank, MPH, author of “Still Doing It: Women and Men Over 60 Write About Their Sexuality”. She also said that seniors should continue to have good sex for the same reason they should continue to get good exercise: It’s taking care of themselves.

In addition to physiological changes in one’s body as they get older, many tend to believe the myth that sex equals intercourse. This is not the case. Alternatives to intercourse are NOT just for people who don’t want to get pregnant or get a disease. Many must put aside the idea that if intercourse is not working for you, then you can’t be sexual. Intercourse should not be the goal; it should be the enjoyment and exploration of one’s body. If some sexual activity is uncomfortable or doesn’t work, try something different.

Stalled Sexual Energy – I need a jump!
What can you do if your sexual pilot light has gone out? Can you look for a solution in pill form? Is there some magic elixir one can purchase? The answer may surprise you. It is communication.

“The worst sexual dysfunction in this country is our inability to talk about sex,” Blank said. “To make the leap from not talking to talking is huge. People have to know they are not the only one who is considering being sexual. They need to know that they can do it without any risk to their health, and more importantly, with no risk to their self-esteem. One of the problems with people who are now older is there is even less talk about sex than there was before.”

“The cure for the sexual problems and lack of interest in older people is the same as it is for younger people,” she continued. “Get informed, and find a way to talk about it with somebody, not necessarily a therapist but a friend or somebody.”

Communication can also help overcome another problem that plagues seniors– feeling that nobody will find their older body sexy. If an older person is not sick or debilitated by whatever is getting he or she in their old age, there really is no reason to not think of themselves as attractive to the opposite sex. Self-image is important regardless of age.

Once self-esteem is better, a person can begin to explore his or her newfound sexuality. A good starting point for both men and women is masturbation.

Sex and the Older Woman
Not surprisingly, maintaining sexual function is different for men and women. For men, the concern centers mostly on erections, whereas for women the concern is in opportunity. Older women tend to think that sex lives end once the husbands pass away. This is simply not the case.

If a young woman doesn’t have a man in her life, she goes out and finds one. She is actively looking. This should be the same for older woman. However, there is this paradigm that once their partner has died it is all over for them. It is a nostalgic, romantic image. Regardless of age, physical touching and romance should be with all of us until the last twinkle.

One of the disincentives for women is painful intercourse due to thinning of the vaginal tissues as estrogen levels decline. As a result, it is suggested that older women use lubricants. If condom or sex toys are used, water-based, not silicone is recommended. In addition, older women should also look for low-levels of glycerin in the lubricants to decrease the risk for yeast infections.


Sex and the Older Man
For men as well as for women, sexuality begins with desire. It is commonly referred to as ‘libido’.

A man’s testosterone level decreases as he gets older; therefore, the first step is to measure the testosterone levels in the blood. If a male’s testosterone level is low, therapy is available. One of the reasons that levels could be low may be due to a medical condition called hypogonadism.

The FDA estimates that there are between 4 million to 5 million in the U.S with low testosterone levels, however those numbers increase to 10 million to 15 million when hypogonadism comes into play.

According to a large number of studies, libido will improve in older men when testosterone levels improve. In addition, males tend to lose the ability to remember at a greater rate than females and the single best predictor of poor memory in middle-aged men is low testosterone. Again, it will improve with therapy.

Another issue that men experience is impotency, and the number one drug that causes this is tobacco. People who smoke tend to have smaller blow flow. Impotency has many components with the main one being hydraulics and this is where drugs, such as Viagra, Cialis and others enter the picture. Do note that Viagra or similar drugs may not work if testosterone levels are not corrected.
Like with many prescription drugs, there are side effects when taking any erectile dysfunction medication.

Other sexual functions in men can also be caused by psychological problems such as depression and by a wide variety of diseases. Not the least of these is heart disease, and difficulty in attaining an erection could be an early symptom.

“If you see someone with impotence, the first thing you do is fix all the cardiovascular problems — it is a very important thing to pick up early,” said Morley.

Lastly, sensation, or lack of it, also plays a role in an older man’s sexuality. So how does a man keep his nerves taut and tingly? He either ‘uses it or loses it’. You heard right. There is this phenomenon known as ‘widowers’ syndrome’, where a man can’t get an erection with a new sex partner — until he practices. That is where Viagra could be used as an operational crutch.

It’s Go Time!
In short, there are three things that are vital to maintaining a healthy sex life:

* Stay healthy.
* Avoid medications that reduce sexual function.
* Find and keep a good mate.

One thing to remember is ALWAYS practice safe sex. Believe it or not, many seniors forget this, and unfortunately, sexually transmitted diseases cannot be cured with a shot of penicillin.

In addition, here are a few simple rules to keep in mind:

* Condoms aren’t just for contraception any more. If you’re sleeping with a new partner, use condoms for each sex act. This includes oral sex. It also includes the use of shared sex toys.
* Consider alternatives to intercourse until you and your partner each receive a clean bill of health.
* Remember that a negative HIV test doesn’t mean you aren’t infected. That takes two tests six months apart.

No matter how old we are, we are still sexual beings. Sex is an important component and we should enjoy it at 20, 30, 50, 80 years old. Okay so at 80, we won’t be using the swing, but we can make do with a walker or a wheelchair.

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I am really excited about posting my first article of 2008, “Get Your 2008 Buzz On”, which highlights my high-tech toy recommendations for the new year. Hey, if “Car and Driver” magazine can do it for vehicles, why can’t I do it for sex toys, right?

I scoured the world, as in the World Wide Web, to find the high-tech gizmos and gadgets of sensual pleasure God bless the geeks and nerds. I evaluated 100s of toys based on innovation, design, ease-of-use, consumer reviews and of course, price. Plus, I validated my decisions by personally testing some of the toys.

The products that garnered rave reviews include some from the OhMiBod family; Big Tease Toys, this is the company that manufacturers those vibrating toy bath duckys; The Swedish company (no, not IKEA) Fun Factory; and Je Joue.

Grab a cup of ‘joe’, sit down, and happy reading.

Xoxo,
Zoey

Imagine you are in bed and feeling a little frisky. You dim the lights. You light some candles. No one is around, but you, your hormones and the OhMiBod ‘OMB’. But wait, something is missing. The music. You need music to create the perfect erotic mood. So you grab your MP3 player, such as the one that is manufactured by a company named after a fruit (apparently, Apple doesn’t like having its named associated with sexual devices so I can’t say ‘grab your IPOD or IPOD Nano’), and plug it into your OMB vibrator.

SAY WHAT?

Yes, I SAID plug the vibrator into the MP3 device. The cool folks at Suki created what I consider to be one of the best sex toys in recent years, OhMiBod.

This is the first insertable music-driven vibrator that utilizes microchip technology to transform your favorite music into mind-blowing, orgasmic bliss. The beat of the music resonates with the vibrations of the OMB. I’ve personally tested and reviewed dozens of sex toys, but none have ever provided me with the opportunity of creating a unique and erotic experience that incorporates my music.

The OMB vibrates to the beat and rhythm of your music while you listen. It measures 5 1/2″ long (insertable length) and 1 1/8″ in diameter. It comes with an additional multi-speed end cap for use without a MP3 device. Plus, the motor provides strong yet quiet, intense rhythmic vibrations, and its polished chrome detail and pearl white body make this the ultimate ‘acsexsory’. If you purchase the OMB, plunk down the extra cash for the Pinkie, a
soft skin sleeve that slips over the shaft making the toy look and feel
like a real penis and increasing the overall girth.

Now as if this wasn’t enough, the hipsters at Suki also came out with a version of the OMB that hits that ‘G’ note every time. Can you guess what it is called? The OhMiBod G-Spot.

Both versions of the OhMiBod are priced at $69.99 each and use 2 AA batteries. The Pinkie is priced at $12.
For those folks who don’t have a MP3 player, but a cell phone, there’s the Boditalk.

This clever piece of gadgetry picks up vibrations in patterns from your cell phone and wirelessly runs a three-pattern vibrating sequence that ranges from a small purr to a heart-pounding throb. Another neat thing is that the Boditalk is not limited to just your cell phone. You can use the bullet in manual mode, which allows you to cycle through the seven pre-set vibrating patterns. Thank God for unlimited nights and weekends! The Boditalk costs $68.99 and uses 2 AAA batteries.

From the company that made bath time frisky with the vibrating ducks, Big Tease Toys, comes the Tuyo and the Onye. The Tuyo is an innocent-looking massager about the same size as a billiard ball. Only this massager’s true purpose remains hidden until the small top button is pressed, and when that happens watch out! Each click cycles to a different setting that includes three speeds of vibration and five pulsation patterns. This round beauty has a non-slip silicone grip to help keep a comfortable hold while you navigate it around your body. Plus, it is splash-proof so you can take Tuyo with you in the shower. The Tuyo takes 3 AAA batteries. Rub a dub dub big Os in the tub!

The Tuyo’s sister, Onye is another gorgeous toy of sexual delight. This petite and powerful vibromasseur allows you to select from one of three vibrations speeds or five varied pulsation options with a gentle press on the bottom of the Onye. Made with a non-slip silicone grip on the shaft and attractive stainless steel accents, the Onye is both a pleasure to look at and use. Measuring 4 ½” long, you can easily pack her in an overnight bag making her a great travel companion. Each Tuyo and Onye comes in a satin-lined case and are priced $61.99 and $55.99 respectively. Both use 3 AAA batteries.

From the same country that gave us IKEA, Delight is the latest creation from our friends at Fun Factory. Rechargeable, powerful, and quiet, the Delight boasts three variable speeds and three pulsation modes. Its signatures shape dubbed the ‘Royal Curl’ requires two fingers to hold onto and a thumb to adjust the variable vibration modes and three pulsation patterns. The slightly bent silicone tip targets the G-Spot, while the small “bump” provides simultaneous C-Spot stimulation. The Delight measures 6″ long (2.5″insertable) and provides up to 90 minutes of bliss. Just make sure to charge it for three full hours after purchase. Plus, it comes with a hard plastic storage case that charges the toy when not in use. You can pick up the Delight for around $159.

Last, but certainly not least is the ultimate in sensual self-indulgence, Je Joue. This is the first intimate massager to be inspired by the techniques of foreplay. Its only limit is your imagination. It quivers, glides and swirls over your most delicately sensitive spots in patterns of infinite variation for a truly thrilling experience.

Je Joue comes with 10 or so pre-programmed “grooves.” A groove is a series of motions arranged into a pattern, and when you select a groove and press “play,” the Pleasurepad moves according to the instructions in the groove. You can also customize the grooves and save up to 20 of them on your Je Joue handset using the Pleasureware software that is included. To make sure it keeps doing what it’s doing, press and hold the “don’t stop” button. The range of motion includes up and down, side to side and round and
round. The Pleasurepad might pulse, vibrate, press, pull back, turn and
pause. With enough lube, it feels more like fingers or a tongue than a
vibrator. Each Je Joue handset comes with the Pleasureware software for Windows and Mac, a USB cable, lube and the handset itself. Plus, it comes with three unique Pleasurepads that affix to the stimulator. Select texture that best suits you.

Je Joue is also rechargeable. Simply plug it in after purchase to let it charge. You can store it inside its stylish purple pouch that also holds the Pleasurepads and the charger. Let the Je Joue take you to heady new heights. Of course, pleasure like this doesn’t come cheap. The price for one of these bad boys is $290. But, don’t worry you will get many returns on your investment in the form of amazing Os. Pretend your Stella and get your groove back!

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TO MASTURBATE OR NOT TO MASTURBATE
So what is the big deal if one wants to rub one out? Actually, it is a big deal. So much so that Chuck Berry, The Divinyls, Prince, Cyndi Lauper, The Who, Thomas Dolby, Berlin, The Buzzcocks (no surprise there), Tori Amos and many other musicians wrote songs about it. Plus, it is the focus of one of the world’s great artistic masterpieces, Salvador Dali’s “El Gran Masturbador” (Spanish for the great masturbator). The act of self-pleasure is a fascinating and complex topic that affects each of us differently.

Despite the almost universal agreement by medical doctors that masturbation is normal, common and safe, it is still associated with embarrassment, shame and guilt primarily because of social perceptions of the act and religion. Yet masturbation is a natural function that is practiced by individuals of all sexual orientations, gender and ages.

Now I am not here to lecture on why you should or shouldn’t rub one out when the urge takes over. Plus, those who know me know where I stand on this issue. I am also not here to discuss the religious or historical viewpoints of masturbation. I’ll save that for another post. I am merely here as a messenger of information, great stimulating information .

Let’s start with the myths of masturbation.

“Masturbation is for losers who can’t get laid.”
So not true, many sexuality experts, including this sexpert, say that people who masturbate tend to function better sexually when with a partner since they know their own body and have fulfilled sexual expression.

“I don’t masturbate because I will go blind or get acne or get hairy palm.”
None of these have any basis in truth.

“Married folks or people in relationships just don’t masturbate.”
Wrong again. Many couples masturbate mutually. It’s a great thing.

“Masturbation will stunt my growth.”
Ding. Wrong again. If you’re vertically challenged check out your parents.

“If I masturbate I’ll never have kids.”
This is just not true. Who wrote this? Masturbation will not have any impact on the quantity or quality of your semen. If you end up with one stupid kid, don’t blame the ‘stranger’ (thanks Dave Chappelle) blame genetics.

“Can masturbation hurt me?”
No, not really. However, if you feel sore from masturbating too much, than that is too much for you. Stop and let your body heal. Getting irritated skin is not uncommon so don’t get your knickers all in a twist, just use plenty of water soluble lubrication next time. Onjenoo will have a line of lubrications, including water-based and silicone when it launches its online department store in the Spring of 2008. In the meantime, remember to lubricate, guys. You too, gals especially when you are about to have a little playtime with your favorite toy.

Something else to consider. If you find that you are spending a lot of time loving yourself and it is interfering with your work, school, or other social activities then you might want to stop and think about WHY you are doing it so much. A person can become obsessed with anything.

Please take note of one thing. Some people engage in what is called auto-erotic asphyxiation. This can end in accidental death. Auto-erotic asphyxiation is defined as the induction of cerebral anoxia - a deficiency of oxygen in the brain through self-applied suffocation methods while masturbating. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS.

So then if the things mentioned above are myths, where are the benefits? Well hold on to your skivvies (at least until you are done reading) I am about to list all the advantages.

Masturbation can relieve stress and:

* Relieve menstrual cramps and other symptoms of PMS.

* Help you fall asleep.

* It’s a great technique for muscle relaxation.

* Stimulate the immune system to help build up resistance to common infections.

* Release mood elevating hormones. Promotes release of the brain’s opioid-like neurotransmitters - endorphins (similar to morphine but 10 times stronger), which cause feelings of physical and mental well being.

* Reduce stress, which is important for the immune, gastrointestinal and cardiovascular systems.

* Reduce embarrassing spontaneous erections for teen males. No more carrying around your Trapper Keeper or Pee Chee folder in front of your jeans.

* Reduce the number of unwanted wet dreams for young men.

* Enhance self-esteem.

Plus…

Many psychology experts agree that masturbation is a great way of relieving depression. It allows the individual to reach a higher sense of self-worth through successful masturbation. Achieving an orgasm is one of the best ways to lift one’s spirits. Sex also tends to drive out negative thoughts, if only for a while. In the end, whatever arguments some people have against masturbation, it far is better to engage in this practice than to allow depression to set in.

In addition, masturbation teaches a person to understand his or her own sexual responses and is a very good way of exploring one’s sexuality. Every bit of experience helps later on and masturbation can be a very good teacher to the young and shy who are nervous about sex, which is one of the most intimate acts two people can perform together. Masturbation is perfectly safe at all ages and it does not carry the risk of unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted infections.

So maybe Dr. Jocelyn Elders – the second woman appointed to the position of U.S. Surgeon General - was on to something back in 1994 when she dared to say that masturbation should actually be taught in schools. Too bad, though, she lost her job as a result of the comment.

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Hi Onjenoo Fans,

Before I forget or get a little tipsy from the champagne, I want to wish all of my subscribers (all six of them) a Happy Onjenoo New Year. The upcoming year will be awesome I can feel it. New beginnings, new opportunities and new ventures. The Onjenoo online department store will launch in the Spring 2008 and I can’t wait. It will have a toy department and I’m not talking about Legos either; lingerie department; and a bookstore, plus other departments. It will be your one-stop shop for all your intimate needs. Plus, I will be introducing a few new items onto the market. Trust me, it will be worth the wait. In the meantime, I still have my blog to which I will continue to post articles and report on the progress of the store.

I promise to be back later in the week with an exciting article on my picks for high tech toys for the new year. Until then, have a safe New Year and I’ll talk to you in 2008.

Xoxo,
Zoey

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