I’m sure you get the ‘heebie jeebies’ thinking about grandma and grandpa knocking boots, right? So do I. How can sweet grandma, who bakes cookies and makes freshly squeezed lemonade, get busy with grandpa? You’ll be surprised.

When we think of senior citizens having sex we automatically think of negative stereotypes: The dirty old geezer or the horny old lady. The issue, however, is that many seniors come to accept these stereotypes as true, and they then risk losing one of the most important parts of their lives and their health.

Whether or not we want to acknowledge it sex after 60 is a MUST for seniors, and they are doing it more than you know or want to admit.

“The reality is that older people are a lot sexier than younger people think. The common notion is that when you are old you don’t — and maybe shouldn’t — have sex. Our studies have shown that older people are sexier in attitude and performance than they have been credited for, ” said Dr. Walter M. Bortz II, author of “We Love Too Short and Die Too Long”.

And if you didn’t believe what he said, check out what this doctor had to say. “You must realize that in the U.S. the biggest use of prostitutes is on the day Social Security checks come out,” concluded Dr. John Morley, director of the division of geriatric medicine at St. Louis University.

“Whippersnappers” versus “Long in the Tooth”
Sex for seniors is not the same thing as sex for young people. The primary concern with seniors is with recreation rather than the possibility of procreation, which allows more room for expanding one’s sensuality — an important aspect of sex when the natural aging process may result in changes in sexual function.

“Sex is good for the seniors,” said Joani Blank, MPH, author of “Still Doing It: Women and Men Over 60 Write About Their Sexuality”. She also said that seniors should continue to have good sex for the same reason they should continue to get good exercise: It’s taking care of themselves.

In addition to physiological changes in one’s body as they get older, many tend to believe the myth that sex equals intercourse. This is not the case. Alternatives to intercourse are NOT just for people who don’t want to get pregnant or get a disease. Many must put aside the idea that if intercourse is not working for you, then you can’t be sexual. Intercourse should not be the goal; it should be the enjoyment and exploration of one’s body. If some sexual activity is uncomfortable or doesn’t work, try something different.

Stalled Sexual Energy – I need a jump!
What can you do if your sexual pilot light has gone out? Can you look for a solution in pill form? Is there some magic elixir one can purchase? The answer may surprise you. It is communication.

“The worst sexual dysfunction in this country is our inability to talk about sex,” Blank said. “To make the leap from not talking to talking is huge. People have to know they are not the only one who is considering being sexual. They need to know that they can do it without any risk to their health, and more importantly, with no risk to their self-esteem. One of the problems with people who are now older is there is even less talk about sex than there was before.”

“The cure for the sexual problems and lack of interest in older people is the same as it is for younger people,” she continued. “Get informed, and find a way to talk about it with somebody, not necessarily a therapist but a friend or somebody.”

Communication can also help overcome another problem that plagues seniors– feeling that nobody will find their older body sexy. If an older person is not sick or debilitated by whatever is getting he or she in their old age, there really is no reason to not think of themselves as attractive to the opposite sex. Self-image is important regardless of age.

Once self-esteem is better, a person can begin to explore his or her newfound sexuality. A good starting point for both men and women is masturbation.

Sex and the Older Woman
Not surprisingly, maintaining sexual function is different for men and women. For men, the concern centers mostly on erections, whereas for women the concern is in opportunity. Older women tend to think that sex lives end once the husbands pass away. This is simply not the case.

If a young woman doesn’t have a man in her life, she goes out and finds one. She is actively looking. This should be the same for older woman. However, there is this paradigm that once their partner has died it is all over for them. It is a nostalgic, romantic image. Regardless of age, physical touching and romance should be with all of us until the last twinkle.

One of the disincentives for women is painful intercourse due to thinning of the vaginal tissues as estrogen levels decline. As a result, it is suggested that older women use lubricants. If condom or sex toys are used, water-based, not silicone is recommended. In addition, older women should also look for low-levels of glycerin in the lubricants to decrease the risk for yeast infections.


Sex and the Older Man
For men as well as for women, sexuality begins with desire. It is commonly referred to as ‘libido’.

A man’s testosterone level decreases as he gets older; therefore, the first step is to measure the testosterone levels in the blood. If a male’s testosterone level is low, therapy is available. One of the reasons that levels could be low may be due to a medical condition called hypogonadism.

The FDA estimates that there are between 4 million to 5 million in the U.S with low testosterone levels, however those numbers increase to 10 million to 15 million when hypogonadism comes into play.

According to a large number of studies, libido will improve in older men when testosterone levels improve. In addition, males tend to lose the ability to remember at a greater rate than females and the single best predictor of poor memory in middle-aged men is low testosterone. Again, it will improve with therapy.

Another issue that men experience is impotency, and the number one drug that causes this is tobacco. People who smoke tend to have smaller blow flow. Impotency has many components with the main one being hydraulics and this is where drugs, such as Viagra, Cialis and others enter the picture. Do note that Viagra or similar drugs may not work if testosterone levels are not corrected.
Like with many prescription drugs, there are side effects when taking any erectile dysfunction medication.

Other sexual functions in men can also be caused by psychological problems such as depression and by a wide variety of diseases. Not the least of these is heart disease, and difficulty in attaining an erection could be an early symptom.

“If you see someone with impotence, the first thing you do is fix all the cardiovascular problems — it is a very important thing to pick up early,” said Morley.

Lastly, sensation, or lack of it, also plays a role in an older man’s sexuality. So how does a man keep his nerves taut and tingly? He either ‘uses it or loses it’. You heard right. There is this phenomenon known as ‘widowers’ syndrome’, where a man can’t get an erection with a new sex partner — until he practices. That is where Viagra could be used as an operational crutch.

It’s Go Time!
In short, there are three things that are vital to maintaining a healthy sex life:

* Stay healthy.
* Avoid medications that reduce sexual function.
* Find and keep a good mate.

One thing to remember is ALWAYS practice safe sex. Believe it or not, many seniors forget this, and unfortunately, sexually transmitted diseases cannot be cured with a shot of penicillin.

In addition, here are a few simple rules to keep in mind:

* Condoms aren’t just for contraception any more. If you’re sleeping with a new partner, use condoms for each sex act. This includes oral sex. It also includes the use of shared sex toys.
* Consider alternatives to intercourse until you and your partner each receive a clean bill of health.
* Remember that a negative HIV test doesn’t mean you aren’t infected. That takes two tests six months apart.

No matter how old we are, we are still sexual beings. Sex is an important component and we should enjoy it at 20, 30, 50, 80 years old. Okay so at 80, we won’t be using the swing, but we can make do with a walker or a wheelchair.